Tired of hearing the same old Christmas carols year after year? We are too. Mariah Carey has a Hall of Fame voice, but the instant those opening bells to “All I Want for Christmas is You” enter my ear lobes, I want to stick a jackhammer in them to drown out the sound. Luckily, Super Metal World has provided a bad ass Christmas playlist, sure to spice up your holiday party.
Now slam some egg nog and blast these festive jams.
“Run Rudolph Run” by Lemmy, Billy Gibbons, and Dave Grohl
“Run Rudolph Run” is an underrated, nontraditional Christmas jam that’s been covered by everyone from Chuck Berry to Bryan Adams. “All I Want for Christmas is You” controls the Christmas pop-realm, but “Run Rudolph Run” should really be treated as the ideal, legitimate Christmas rock anthem. This cover, in particular, is bad ass. The late, legendary Lemmy Kilmister on vocals, Billy Gibbons and his Santa Claus-esque beard on lead guitar, and of course, America’s sweetheart, David Grohl on the kit. What’s not to love?
In fact, this song should replace “Jingle Bell Rock” at middle school Christmas programs. There is nothing “rock” about “Jingle Bell Rock” anymore. It’s not 1954 anymore, Cheryl, let’s hear a goddam riff!
“Father Christmas” by The Kinks
For a song recorded in 1978, “Father Christmas” has not received the fair amount of airplay that it deserves. It’s a catchy track by an iconic band. Plus, what puts you in the Christmas spirit more than a department store Santa getting mugged by a herd of scoundrel children who are fed up with St. Nick’s constant toy giving bullshit?
“Father Christmas, give us some money. Don’t mess around with those silly toys,” the children told the Santa outside of the hardware store. “We’ll beat you up if you don’t hand it over. We want your bread so don’t make us annoyed. Give all the toys to the little rich boys.”
It sounds a lot like these children are “sticking it to the man,” and I’m here for it.
“The Season Upon Us” by Dropkick Murphy’s
Believe it or not, Dropkick Murphy’s produce killer holiday songs that’s are not strictly St. Patrick’s Day related. Lyrically, “The Season Upon Us” is maybe not the best option for the family sing-a-long, but it is a fantastic choice for the Christmas party playlist. It won’t impress Grandma much, but it will be fun to chant at your company’s annual holiday bash. Dropkick Murphy’s have made a living off of catchy drinking anthems, as they do with this hidden Christmas gem.
“Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” by Bruce Springsteen
What was originally performed live at C.W. Post College (Long Island) in 1975 is steadily becoming the preferred version of “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town,” as it should be. The Springsteen cover is far more upbeat and in true E-Street fashion, features an opening statement from Bruce and a plethora of solos. The band is clearly having a blast covering this, as evident with genuine laughter from the the “Big Man” Clarence Clemons’ “Ho Ho Ho’s.”
This version was also featured in now legendary Christmas classic, Elf. If it’s good enough for Will Ferrell, Zooey Deschanel, and Peter Dinklage, than it should be good enough for you, dammit!
“I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” by blink-182
A B-side to Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” should be widely recognized as not only a fine deep cut in the blink-182 catalog, but also excellent pop punk anthem in general. This main riff is one of Tom DeLonge’s greatest and to be quite honest, his most addicting. Let’s go one step further: “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” is the greatest Christmas song that will never see the light of day on radio, because apparently “some guy named Bubba” unwrapping Mark Hoppus’ package is “inappropriate.”
Bah humbug to that bullshit.
Foo Fighters Christmas medley on Saturday Night Live
Two years ago, Foo Fighters performed for the seventh time on Saturday Night Live. This go-around, they were tasked with the coveted Christmas episode, and did not disappoint.
In this performance, we get Dave Grohl serenading a solo, acoustic version of “Everlong,” whilst rocking an ugly Christmas sweater, segueing into a pair of badass covers, including “Baby, Please Come Home” and “Linus and Lucy” of A Charlie Brown Christmas. In the ever-so underrated “Baby, Please Come Home,” the first backing vocalist slays the opening verse in the performance, while lead guitarist Chris Shiflett equally destroys his mini-solo in “Linus and Lucy.”
Never change, boys. Never change.
“Wizards in Winter” by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Realistically, any Trans-Siberian Orchestra songs would bode well for a bad ass holiday playlist. TSO are truly talented musicians that understand how to take any Christmas song and make metal as fuck.
While TSO has a vast catalog of epic holiday covers, “Wizards in Winter” is the song that put them on the mainstream map. More-so, this video on OG 2009 YouTube put them on the map.
MAKE YOUTUBE 2009 AGAIN.
“Christmas with the Devil” – Spinal Tap
Spinal Tap are genius song writers with the musicianship to boot. Coming off smash singles like “Big Bottom,” “Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight,” and “Sex Farm,” Spinal Tap dipped into the holiday scene with “Christmas With the Devil.”
The haunting organ and eery lyrics make for one spooky ride holiday ride brought to you by the English trio.
Verse 6 states, ” No bells in Hell, No snow below, Silent Night, Violent Night.”
“Come all ye unfaithful” and enjoy this spooktacular Christmas masterpiece.
“Mistress for Christmas” by AC/DC
What’s interesting about “Mistress for Christmas” is it wasn’t some random offshoot, “made for the holiday season” track you see with other festive-themed songs. This was a legitimate song on a legitimate The Razors Edge album, which featured mega-hits like “Thunderstruck” and “Money Talks.”
“Mistress for Christmas” is your prototypical AC/DC song. An anthem you can bang you head and shake your ass to. But this time, with a Christmas flare!
“Let Me Sleep (It’s Christmas Time)” by Pearl Jam
This is the ideal party closer. You’ve raged all night to (primarily) inappropriate Christmas songs. Now, it’s time to clear the party and get some goddamn sleep.
This is where “Let Me Sleep (It’s Christmas Time)” comes into play perfectly on your holiday playlist. It’s not a bad song by any means. In fact, it is an excellent Pearl Jam B-side, featured on Lost Dogs. However, it’s not a banger, which is fine, because it’s the end of the night. You’ve had enough fun and you’ve drank enough brandy. It’s time to end the holiday party and get everyone home.
Play this song on repeat, and the party will clear. And as your friends and sloshed coworkers fade into the abyss of their incoming Ubers, Pearl Jam’s acoustic B-side will softly play in the distance, slowly making you, the party host, finally get some much needed rest.
And isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Sure, it is stressful, but Christmas should be a time for us to regain our energy and recharge our mental batteries, too. Have a blast at the holiday party and entertain your family, but please, please, get some rest and reboot your mental state for the new year upon us.
From all of us at Super Metal World, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. A toast to you, my friends!
Mark is a writer for Super Metal World, as well as an avid supporter of live music, cheesy power ballads, and over-the-top action movies. Send over your questions, comments, and concerns to [email protected] Follow Mark on Twitter and Instagram @MarkRadlund.